


Never without you

by Peachbulle



Series: Platonic Straw Hats OS [1]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Can be read as slash, Friendship, Gen, I have started One Piece a couple month ago, I took liberties with canon, Injury, Protective Monkey D. Luffy, Sanji feels, Spoilers, Whole Cake Island Arc, and i have fEELINGS, english is not my first language, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:08:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25122949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peachbulle/pseuds/Peachbulle
Summary: "Sanji doesn't think he has known true despair until now."Luffy fight for his Cook, gets hurt in the process, but it doesn't matter as long as he gets Sanji back with him.Sanji, well, he feels.
Relationships: Monkey D. Luffy & Vinsmoke Sanji
Series: Platonic Straw Hats OS [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1819861
Comments: 7
Kudos: 134





	Never without you

**Author's Note:**

> Whole Cake Island killed me. I just needed to write something about it.  
> Luffy's injuries looked absolutely terrible to me, so I ended up making them a bigger deal than in canon but honestly ?  
> Who doesn't like some angst ?!  
> The Sanji & Luffy tag can be read as some kind of pre-slash, or frienship, or anything really. As I (mostly) headcanon Luffy as aroace, I wrote this with a "platonic straw hats being there for each other" vibe.
> 
> I get very anxious every time I post something so I hurried to post this before I chickened out.

Sanji thinks that he has never known true despair until now. Sure, on that rock, years ago, when he’d felt his body shut down from hunger, his stomach perpetually gnawing for something, anything to continue functioning, he’d felt desperate and afraid. When he’d seen Zeff with an amputated leg, when he’d realized that the man had lost his dream because of him, he’d felt desperately guilty.

Somehow, it does not compare to abandoning Luffy ( _hurt, bleeding_ ) in that clearing and coming back to see piles of bodies and grass painted blood red. Not even close. Luffy has given him everything, friendship, respect, _freedom._ Has believed in Sanji from the start, _wanted_ Sanji, and fought for him. Luffy is willing, even after Sanji has all but betrayed him, to put his dream on hold until he can get Sanji back. To _die_ if Sanji refuses.

That is why Sanji runs, an already soaked lunch box in hand, checking every single body that looks like it could be Luffy.

Luffy is the man Sanji believes in the most. He’s the man he wants to see become Pirate King.

He is a stubborn, stupidly loyal Captain who will not think twice about dying for Sanji.

**_Without you, I can’t be Pirate King!!!!!_ **

(How many dreams will Sanji’s mere existence shatter?)

It takes long minutes, the seemingly endless swirl of despair menacing to engulf him, before he hears the growl of a stomach and he can breathe again. He’s found him! After searching under piles of corpses and waddled in puddle of rain almost as tall as him, he has finally, _finally_ , found Luffy. Alive, thank the seas.

(I’m coming to you now, I’m here Captain, hold on!)

He wants to scream but his throat is tight and he can’t make a sound.

Seeing him, so thin despite it being barely a day – is it two? - makes his heart squeeze in his chest, a promise he made to himself years ago almost broken under his stupidity. (He _knows_ Luffy spends at least 3times more energy than a normal being). But Luffy is alive, and even though Sanji can barely bring himself to look at the man before him, he offers the soiled, inedible snack all the same.

(Eat! Please, I beg you, _eat_ )

He still can’t voice even one word. Luffy makes a pitiful little noise.

It’s not much, and it’ll probably be disgusting (maybe Luffy will even spit it at his face) but it should give his (no, not _his_ anymore) Captain at least some energy back. Enough to go to the Sunny and leave. Be safe away from Big Mom’s territory and Sanji’s bad, terrible, awful life choices.

Luffy’s edging towards the food, nostrils flaring, hands trembling as he goes to open the basket. He observes it – the mangled state of the straw of the basket, the dirt that covers it for a second, or two, before looking up to Sanji.

 _Maybe he won_ _’t even eat it, refuse your food after all this, choose death over a failed attempt at redemption. Break your heart like your broke his._ It would be fitting, seeing how Sanji repaid his Captain’s care by smashing his skull with a well-placed kick.

Of course, he is wrong (can he be anything else, really?). With the most blinding smile, Luffy tells him “I… Can’t use my hands. Help me?”

For good measure, the man extends his arms towards him in a slow, jerky movement, but the hands themselves seem fine –shaky, dirty, with bleeding knuckles but otherwise unharmed. He feels himself frown, but then his eyes, following their course, find the wrists, thin and bleeding, with patches of skin that look teared. ( _What the fuck happened?!)_

Sanji feels his legs shake, perhaps from his mad run under the rain, perhaps from the shock of having found his Captain still alive despite all odds. Most likely, it’s because of the heavy guilt that befalls him, sudden and uncompromising, at seeing the man he’s sworn to protect in such a state because of him.

His descent from standing the kneeling is slow, because he doesn’t want to alarm Luffy. He finds himself kneeling in the wet grass, opening the basket and the bento box, levelling a piece of _disgusting_ meat to his Captain face.

And Luffy eats it with aplomb, and Sanji cannot fathoms why.

“Thanks Sanji!” The man says between bites, he looks a bit less dead already. “It’s delicious!”

“Liar” Sanji whispers, his vision strangely blurry (it must be the rain) but then remembers that Luffy doesn’t know how to lie and this time he chokes on the sobs he’s trying so hard to contain. (He can’t feed Luffy if he can’t see the bento box)

Ultimately, there is no food left and Sanji wants to stand up, tell Luffy what he rehearsed during his mad run; tell ~~his~~ the Captain of his impeding wedding ( _don’t cry!_ ), be selfless or selfish or whichever it is, and get Luffy to just go, far, _far_ away from him before Big Mom snuffs the life out of him too.

But Luffy, is already standing (how _can_ he be standing in that state?!) watching him like a hawk, with eyes too knowing, like he knows what Sanji is thinking, can see through his body into his very soul (like he knows what Sanji really wants) and is ready to stomp on each and every argument. How can Sanji lie when that look makes him feel so safe.

Luffy’s eyes say “I won’t let you go” and Sanji is man enough to admit (if only in his head) that he doesn’t want Luffy to ever let go of him.

Outside of his head, he only admits to wanting to go _home_ , to the Sunny. He also selfishly asks to save his family too and Luffy smiles, warm and brighter than the fucking sun, and tells him they’ll crash the party.

It feels like the cold shadows of his past are receding in the face of such warmth, and Sanji wants (he wants he wants) to bask in the glow of Luffy smile forever.

\---

Chopper nearly faints at the sight of Luffy battered body. Screams that they need a doctor ( _YOU’RE_ the doctor!!). The food helped, and his body his already trying to mend and repair what has been hurt – however it is too little, too slow and nobody is sure whether or not Luffy will be able to make it to the wedding.

Sanji hovers as Chopper wrangles Luffy into accepting some sort of treatment only to end up stabbing their fussy captain with an anesthetic powerful enough to bring down an elephant. Chopper works efficiently, as much as he can manage between sniffle and tear wiping. Nami is right beside him, carefully avoiding his eyes as she narrates the reason for every injury in a low voice.

“He fought the general Cracker for hours” She says when Chopper worries about the tears in Luffy’s muscles and the general exhaustion he is exhibiting. It feels like a calmer, meaner version of what she told him during the Duel. “Then it was the revenge army, and we lost”

Sanji’s teeth grind together.

“The head wound is mostly you” She adds, voice cold, as Chopper cleans dried blood from Luffy’s face and scalp. Sanji stops counting after the fifth white gauze turned red.

“That said” She says, voice tired, “He didn’t want to leave the clearing, they had to bash his head in more than once to knock him out.”

A silence stretches between them, both watching Chopper extract shards of glass embedded deep in Luffy skin. He looks at Nami, the skin of his cheek gives a twinge of phantom pain.

She only says “I don’t know how _that_ happened, he didn’t have them in the castle. But there were a lot of enemies in there so he probably jumped out of a window or something. You know of he is”

Yes, he knows.

And then they hear Chopper gasps, then sob, then mutter a small, pained “Luffy…” and Sanji looks up to see the reindeer holding Luffy’s hand softly between his hooves. His eyes, however, are staring in horror at the state of Luffy’s forearms, especially his wrists (Oh _no_ … Did Luffy injure his tendons？Would he lose his hands? Can Sanji break his savior _any more_?)

Both of them look at Nami but she is refusing the meet their eyes, her lips wobbling.

“Nami. I hate to have to ask but … What happened? Can you tell us?” Chopper says softly, propping Luffy’s battered arm against come kind of cushion. He switch to heavy point then, and starts preparing it for treatment, carefully.

“This idiot did it to himself” she chokes down a sob “We got captured and put in some kind of book-prison inside the castle” she takes a breath, visibly trying to rein her emotions in. “Our hands were pinned above our heads…”

Sanji’s stomach twists, his mind coming with all sorts of awful scenarios. They had been in the castle, captured, perhaps tortured while Sanji was gallivanting with Pudding.

“…And then Pudding came” Nami very pointedly does not look at him. “Told us about you proposing, she was smiling, tears in her eyes and everything” The sarcasm is so thick in her voice, Sanji has no trouble imagining what happened next. “She got close and told Luffy that she was not going to marry you, waiting a beat, you know, give us hope. Then she said she’d kill you.” Nami spats the words like they’re poison.

Chopper breathing hitches, and he turns horrified eyes at Sanji. The cigarette in his mouth has the taste of betrayal.

“Luffy got very upset. Obviously. I guess he couldn’t understand why someone would do that, pretend to be in love…” she gives a small, sad laugh “hurt your feelings like that instead of just killing you straight.”

She moves then, heading towards the bed where Luffy is still sleeping, pale form on even paler sheets. She caresses his cheek with her right thumb while her left hand comes and plays with his dark hair, or at least the only patch not buried under layers of bandages.

“He was so, so mad. Started pulling at the restraints, and when that didn’t give, started winding his arms around himself. Kept stretching, ‘till he got to his limit and his skin started snapping.” Sanji can sees the tears plopping soundlessly on the sheets, and he has to take a deep breath not to kick a wall or something.

(He does anyway. Leaves an imprint of his fist into the wall. It doesn’t help)

He can’t help the twitching in his hands, or even the aborted step he takes when Luffy moans pitifully as Chopper sprays the wounds with antiseptic. Nami looks at Sanji then, for the first time since he came back with Luffy, and if he thought her avoidance was bad, the pain that shines through her beautiful eyes is worse.

“I begged him to stop, but he would not _listen_ , all he had in mind was _find_ you and tell you the truth” She shakes her head and after a forlorn look towards their Captain, take three determined steps and grabs Sanji by his shirt “He was FIVE SECONDS away from tearing his hands, from losing his MAIN fighting tools so that you didn’t have to discover on the day of your wedding that you were betrayed… He kept saying “I can’t let her hurt Sanji” and I couldn’t help thinking that you didn’t extend the same courtesy.”

Sanji can feel his nails digging in his palms, his left knuckles hurt from when he smashed that wall, words are stuck in his mouth. The dig is well deserved, and he knows that he won’t be forgiven so easily by _anyone_ but knowing does not make it hurt any less. Nami is still talking, speaking about Jinbei and _fire_ (he barely hears Chopper gasp) and Luffy protecting her before running off the escape the castle and go back to the place of their promise.

He wishes she’d just shut up, spare him from all those excruciating _details_ on how _close_ he had been to losing the man who gave him everything.

In his mind, intrusive images linger. He remembers the moss head laying his life for his captain, absorbing Luffy’s pain and making it his own in a display of loyalty and care. That day he had admired Zoro, and wished one day to be strong enough to do the same.

Here he is, years later, far from offering his body to protect what is dear to him but inflicting all this pain on his Captain. He is such a failure. A burden. A selfish bastard.

(Despite knowing he has no right to, he cannot help but seat next to Luffy, gently holding the newly bandaged forearm.)

Chopper is slow, methodical, as he finishes caring for their hurt Captain, not leaving any burn or various blue and black bruises that have started forming where his starved body had not been able absorb and bounce back from the shocks, untreated.

He hears Nami’s breathing slow from where she is on the other side of Luffy. Her hand is still buried in his hair, even as she sleeps. Chopper tidies his supplies silently, switching to a smaller form and climbing on Luffy, mindful of his injuries. He settles on Luffy’s torso before promptly drifting off too.

Sanji does not sleep. He keep his eyes firmly on his Captain. The rise and fall of his chest is constant, reassuring. He takes the other man’s hand in his, doesn’t even flinch when his Captain answers his light touch by a crushing grip on his own.

(Sanji won’t go anywhere)

The next couple hours are spent in silence, even when Brook and Pedro and Jinbei and Carrot come back from whatever they were doing. Everyone settles around Luffy, waiting for him to wake.

(Sanji doesn’t cry, _he doesn't_ )

\---

To absolutely no one’s surprise (but Luffy’s), the plan to kill Big Mom fails spectacularly.

The ceremony is a huge mess and everyone is so overwhelmingly strong that for a second he thinks they won’t make it. They end up separating _again_ and when they reunite he gets Luffy back bloody and exhausted _again_. He learns later that Pedro sacrificed himself like the hero he was (the guilt grows heavier), and Jinbei is gone again to who knows where.

Of course, their plan also bears results. Although, Big Mom is still alive, the blows Luffy dealt her probably injured more than her pride. The Vinsmoke are safe (Sanji still wonders _why_ he bothered) and Luffy (strong, stubborn Luffy) gave Katakuri a taste of defeat. Most of all, even though he had to leave for a while, Jinbei is now officially part of their crew.

He receives no _thank you_ for saving his blood relatives (well, they help them escape. Still. They’re assholes).

All in all, this assassination plan might not have been a raging success but it is a tremendously bold declaration of war. It fits them perfectly.

\---

When all is over, and they have long since got some distance between both Big Mom’s fleet and Judge Vinsmoke’s family, everyone present on Sunny is eerily silent.

Brook is tuning is violin. Nami is pointedly focused on navigation. Carrot grieves. Sanji stares at the door of the infirmary where Chopper and Luffy disappeared. There is no doubt in Sanji’s mind that everyone is struggling, maybe it’s the fatigue, and maybe they’re not quite sure how to interact with him. In all honesty, he is struggling too.

His Captain though, he jumps in and literally kick the mood in the face (more like the door of the infirmary but it bears the same results.)

Luffy is, once again, impersonating a mummy. Bandages cover most of him, and despite their doctor pleading that he is definitely _not_ supposed to be standing right now, he alternates between falling asleep on his feet and raging at Chopper that he is fine.

Then Luffy spots him. He stares for 3 seconds, blinking, and then screams “Sanji, food!” The normalcy is startling and it makes Sanji’s eyes prickle.

(His cheeks feel hot too, for some reason.)

Sanji screams about the state of his kitchen, complains about the complete annihilation their stocks, rages at Luffy’s incompetence in any other field that punching and Luffy laughs at him, not sorry at all, just claps him on the back and exclaims:

“You’re here now so you can cook instead, it’s no problem!”

He is about to give his Captain a piece of his mind because it is definitely _not_ the point (How much money do you think those tools cost, you idiot?) but around him Nami is chuckling and Brook is Yohoho-ing and Carrot is grinning – and to absolutely no one’s surprise, Sanji feels the muscles in his cheek and jaw pull until he is laughing too.

He still swats at Luffy, and calls him an idiot but he doesn’t protest when his Captain pushes him towards the kitchen while insisting that he needs Sanji’s food right NOW. He keeps his attention on the stove even as he feels people gather around the table.

They are loud and lively, arguing over Luffy’s poor judgment skills during his fight with Katakuri, then laughing at Chopper panicked shrieks everytime Luffy jumps on the table, way too immersed in his tale to mind the doctor’s desperate pleading to mind his injuries.

They all praise his food before excusing themselves for the night.

(The ice in Sanji’s heart melts)

\---

When most of them have settled into a peaceful sleep and Sanji’s kitchen is clean and organized again, Luffy grabs his hand and drags him out to the deck.

It’s silent, except for the sound of waves.

Luffy’s arms are around him in an instant, determined but not intrusive, and Sanji knows he could shake the man away with little to no problem. Only, there is nobody out, nobody to look at them, nobody to judge, nobody to worry about so Sanji lets it happen.

Luffy says nothing, just embraces him. Sometimes his hands roam a bit, adjusting his grip, clutching his shirt. He could swear his captain’s is taking in the feel of his body and the smell of his cologne. There are no tears, no shaking, just silence, even when Luffy lifts his head and just looks at him like he can see Sanji’s soul.

(He probably can)

“You’re home now Sanji” Luffy says after a while, softly.

Sanji is one of Luffy’s generals, he is strong, but here in his Captain’s arms, finally safe (finally home) he can’t control the sheer relief that overtakes him. It takes an embarrassingly short time for his captain’s shirt to be wet with his tears but the man holds him through all the pathetic excuses he can mumble, all the “thank you for taking me back” he feels.

“Sanji always takes care of us” Luffy is saying, a smile in his voice, “He is so strong.”

He chokes on a sob.

“But Sanji should know that we won’t let him be hurt. We’ll protect Sanji too.” He pauses, only for a second, but his next words are so charged that Sanji wonders if he’s infused them with Haki “You’re mine, I’ll always fight for you”

 _I love you Captain, I love you so much_. Nobody else had fought that hard for him ever. It feels nice to be allowed to be vulnerable, to be cared for

“Because I’m nakama?”

“Yup. You’re my precious Nakama”

“Always?” He hates that his voice is so small, despite having managed to produce a smile through the veil of tears.

The boat is gently rocking, the wave leading it gently to their next adventure. He can hear Usopp’s snores and feel the wind in his hair. Soon they’ll be rushing and fighting again, they’ll bring their own brand of chaos right on Kaido’s doorstep. Now, however, they’re in a blissful calm zone between storms.

Luffy cups his face, fingers spreading to cover all of Sanji’s cheeks and almost pocking him in the eyes. He smiles wide, looking almost unreal under the glow of the moon.

“Always.”

(Sanji believes him. He can't see himself ever doubting his Captain ever again)

FIN.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading !


End file.
